the Jimmyology

March 15, 1976

The most important day (I guess) birth!
Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England

a long, long
time ago

from Mum

I can remember (sometimes) a long time ago when James was about two years old. He had learnt (just) to go to the toilet all by himself (what a big boy) Anyway he had gone upstairs to do his little business one day while I was down stairs doing something motherly.

As usual I could hear James crying and shouting for me and as usual I ignored the little blighter for some time. Eventually I decided to go upstairs and give him a good shouting at for making all that noise.

When I eventually went into the toilet, lo and behold james had got himself well and truly stuck down the toilet pan - from his elbows to his knees.

Laugh - I nearly wet myself.

1987 Onwards
Neil's House

from Neil

james is very allergic to my cat...and its quite funny.
Errr...thats it.
---
I guess what should be said is that Neil was a great believer in feline molestation, and although there should have been a law against what he did to his cat, he was never caught.
And the only way for his cat to get revenge was to induce a dramatic hayfever-like collapse of my immune system, which meant that I nearly went blind.
Errr...that's really it.

1989/90
Registration Period
with Mrs Fahey

from Jonny

We're sat having our names called out and one by one making the monotone 'yes miss' reply. Suddenly (the details of reasons for this incident have been repressed, maybe someone else could fill them in) James and I began to really antagonise each other!! In a moment of rage I swung round to kick him in the stomach. As James sat choking and gasping for breath, I sat stunned and disgusted at my inhumanity to fellow man! What happened next was even more surprising. Upon Mrs Fahey's arrival at our corner of the room, James (in an understandable state of fury) gushed forth, "Miss, he's always doing things like that!" Like WOT? Had I ever hit one of my best friends before? Well yeah, Sheedy actually, but we mutually enjoyed our lounge floor five year old wrestling bouts! I digress. And so, after a good telling off from Miss, we wearily set out on to metaphorical road of healing. Within days everything was hunky dory again; 5 pence bags of crisps were shared again at break times, gentle (and not so gentle) piss taking over who we fancied was reinstated, and mutually we spent many a lunchtime running around the yard to escape the likes of Daniel Lawrence and other strange kids who seemed intent on killing us when they were not preoccupied mangling squirils.

Around the
age of 11

from Robert (aka brother)

When we all went to Florida and saw all the top places. We also saw a shuttle take off and had some great crazy golf games except for one but I wont go into that.
---
(nb. I will be pushing Robert to 'go into that'...)

1991
Maths Lessons
with Mr Hilling-Smith

from Neil

Our Maths lessons with Trevor Hilling-Smith (a secret Tony Hart character) always provided a bit of a hoot. If wasnt for me dropping spot scabs on James exercise book..then it was him 'stamping' inky spiders onto my book. In all...it was a golden age..most agreeable.

However, the best time was when James walked around the classroom with a a prism attached to each of his eyes...obviously to attract Romina. Anyway he proceeded in his blurred state of vision to walk straight groin first into a corner of a sharp desk. Lets just say for a number of days James was talking Soprano and walked lie a cowboy......he still does come to think of it.

July, 1998

Graduation from University - Oxford Brookes - with honours in Law and Accountancy.

December 1, 1998

Arrive in Sydney, Australia, after a mammoth flight via Tokyo - with Stewart.

February 19, 2000
On the Road to Geelong

from George  

Attendees: James, Neil, Rich, Si, George, Sally, Cindy
Scene: Sign for the National Wool Museum

James: "Oh look, shall we go into the Wool Museum - that sounds interesting!"
Sally: "That won't make me cry again, will it?"
George: "What, shearing sheep?"
Sally: "What?"
George: "Sally, it's the Wool Museum, not the War museum..!"
Cue canned laughter (as in Scooby Doo).

...Reminiscing, later on that day...
Si: "Oh, I get it, it was about a Wool museum..."
George: " Yeah, what did you think it was about?"
Si: "I thought it was about walls"
George: "What have sheep and Sally crying got to do with walls?"
Si: "Well, I did think it was a bit strange..."
All: "Oh, Simon [cue canned laughter again]!"