The Great Ocean Road

Well, after three and a half months of work, we decided enough was enough and set in motion our plans to head into the sun. Unfortunately our landlord has other ideas, but we came to a gentlemans agreement - that we would do whatever he told us to.

Anyway, we were going to be doing lots of bus travel over the next few months, so for a bit of variety Stewart and I decided to do the Great Ocean Road in a hire car, for three days and two nights Dastardly & Muttley action in our Mitsubishi Lancer. Would we find our Penelope Pitstop or would the Ant Hill Mob in the Oz Experience bus beat us to Adelaide?

The first task was to get out of Melbourne, no easy task when Stewart had to say goodbye to all the women he had been stringing along, and head down the coast through Geelong and down to Torquay. Finally back on ocean coastline! Our first major stop was Bells Beach, the alleged home of Point Break and numerous surfing competitions.

Despite the relative cold and small waves, the surfies were out in force, so we wandered down the steep cliff-like steps to the beach for a quick game of frisbee. We soon found out that Bells Beach is famous for surfing only because the beach itself is a load of poo. Doh!

So on we continued, and finally hit the Great Ocean Road itself - and although you cannot actually read it, that wooden sign says "Great Ocean Road". The limitations of internet photography, eh? It looks good on the original, believe me...

Just after the small town of Lorne was 'Teddy's Lookout' (Teddy who though? Teddy Sheringham, Teddy Kennedy, Teddy Bear?) which gave this fantastic view of what was to come - filling me with an immense amount of dread as it was Stewarts turn to drive. We did, however, make it through alive.

Our first nights stop was in Apollo Bay, memorable for two things - the first was the look on Lauras face as we bumped into here in the local fast-food joint. Paul and Laura had taken the big green bus to Adelaide and weren't expecting to see us there. I hope never to see such a sight again. The second memorable aspect was a mad old woman we encountered in the hostel, making me wonder whether there really are any donkeys left in the world with their hind legs intact....

She seemed harmless, and I kept twisting the conversation so that Stewart would have to talk to her but she obviously noticed our reluctance to talk and pulled her masterstroke of giving us the directions for an 'alternative' route through the National Park. So of we set, especially early, to find ourselves on a virtual off-road drive through dense forest on windy dirt tracks while the rain came down in buckets. We had promised to stick to sealed roads in our hire car, but can plead the defence of being led astray by an evil henchman of something ... even more evil. But there were some nice waterfalls.

After enduring some of the worlds biggest potholes and some superlative off-road rally driving we made it to the really famous part of the Great Ocean Road, and it was worth it - despite differences on the number of lookouts to stop at (what, I like to see all the lookouts, it's not a crime, is it?) we managed to see some spectacular sights.

And one that used to be spectacular...

(that gap used to be the famous London Bridge - before it collapsed).

Our second evening stop was at Mount Gambier, in a converted jail. Finally Stewart felt at home, and we went back to Australia's roots... Mt Gambier is famous for it's Blue Lake (in the top of the volcanic crater) but as with most of these things, the lake looked pretty grey to me. Oh well.

But I guess I will always remember it as the place that we saw Austin Powers 2 (yeah, baby!), which would have major repercussions throughout the rest of the trip...

The third day was a trip through the Coonawarra wine region. Being the good boys that we are, we passed on all the testing and headed straight for the Narracoorte Caves for a bit of underground adventuring.

The caves were also the home of the Wonambi display of prehistoric marsupials - yep, even a giant wombat!

We weren't sure whether to spend the five dollars on the entrance fee, but when they warn parents that the display could 'disturb their children', how could we resist? A little further on we found the flabbergasting Narracoorte Snake Pit and Museum (combined of course) which was basically one blokes collection, all gone horribly wrong.

It was too cold for the snakes (which were all hibernating) but we did see two humping lizards, which made the whole day worthwhile.

On the subject of randy aussie fauna, on the way to Kingston SE (the home of the giant lobster) we managed to see a dead kangaroo being eaten by a huge eagle, which did wonders for my appetite.

A case of bad timing and bad advice (by two old people who could have been the devil's henchmen for all we knew) lead us to be driving through dark misty countryside on the way to Goolwa, and our floating hostel. This was not a pleasant experience on unmarked, unlit roads surrounded by marauding kangaroos and carrion-eating eagles. And, once again, I was driving the treacherous parts.

The bed for the night was worth it, if a little unconventional, being a boat!
The last leg, a short ride to Adelaide, was punctuated by more sea-watching (whale watching without the whales) and the handing back of the car. Like volunteering to have your arm amputated, this wasn't easy.

The weekend (and the leg) was completed by a weekend in Adelaide, staying in Glenelg [link to Glenelg beach backpackers], topped off by a great sunset and a slow unlocking of the knees from the driving position...

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